What, in the small here and now, is my Being’s deep longing?

When I close my eyes and ask those questions, I touch something else, and it’s simple. 

My Being is calling your Being forward. Will you move towards? Will you hold my hand and walk with me? My Being sees that your Being is a Living Altar, radiant and so so big. Glowing through the blue or brown or green or grey eyes of you. Pulsing through the pores of the skin of you.

We laid on the earth with eyes closed, to energetically connect with agents of Gaia, by travelling down through an energetic Gateway into the Earth. This particular Gateway started at a dead tree that was sticking up from the water. The portal called to us and we were a yes. To pass through the Gateway we needed to bring an authentic necessary question.

As a woman who takes a stand for holding spaces of relating outside of patriarchy, one aspect of my research is to find the splinters that are working, unconsciously until made conscious, to hold me back into an old context that has blatantly run it’s course.

I walked into the kitchen and there was a very still lizard with no tail. On closer look, the place where the tail had dropped from, likely having to do with the cat, was severed and bloody, so I knew this creature had been through something moments before we met.

As I continue to research some of the programs (survival strategies) I picked up in my insular family unit, in church, in school, I keep finding a plethora of unconscious, sometimes slightly conscious ways, I’ve been creating repetitive experiences in my life. All the while defaulting to the “idea” that they are simply happening TO me, as if I was put on the planet to be a passive participant.